Why are so many blonde jokes one-liners? Alright I bet you 5,000$ that I can bite my left eye. We definitely have more for you. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Small son sitting on Daddys lap: Im still confused. I had to put my foot down. You might get the I dont get it from your kids. Paddy frowns. " She was sitting in the car at the mall while her mother shopped. . When a dinosaur farts, it is a blast from the past. Why does Piglet always smell bad? If you arrest a mime, do you have to tell him he has the right to remain silent? That means one guy likes it. I proudly proclaimed Urine luck! The egomaniac holds the light bulb while the world revolves around him. To look for Pooh! How many telemarketers does it take to change a light bulb? The bathroom is over there on your left. Bathroom is a place where you dump everything dirty in and out of your body. I love my toilet. It's only "urine" until you pee, then it's "urout". Ha! says the barman. What is funny however, is some of the madness going on in the world because of the Covid-19, the toilet paper hoarding, the stockpiling of groceries and don't forget the new Coronavirus A. WebWhat did one toilet say to the other toilet? Why dont pirates take a shower before they walk the plank? At the BP petrol station! WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. Seamus shook his head, " No, he got out 3 times for a pee. Why is #1 yellow? "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." So that men can tell if they're coming or going! Warning: Proceed with Dew Caution! If theres one seat that everyone sits on, its the toilet. Pee Point to Ponder: Do funny urine jokes piss you off? Airport security wouldnt let it through. Why did the baby put quarters in its diaper? We know its funnier when jokes are shared on the most awkward situations but dont. Poop Puns One Liners. Your kidney stone test came back. 1. 2. Because they make up literally everything. The agent says you gamble with that much money. Knock, knock. Children are like farts. Now, we aim to connect you to the kid inside you by compiling these lists of the nastiest and smelliest dirty poop jokes. 46. Me: did you know that you can't hear willow ptarmigans go to the bathroom. 3. 35. There are plenty of places to go at this exit! Sadly, I only got an eye roll from my wife. Why was Eeyore down the toilet? A guy with explosive diarrhea was eager to tell a joke. WebThe man replies alright I have another one, your down 12,500$ I'll bet you 15,000$ if you put that waste basket on the other side of the room I can stand by your desk and piss across the room into the waste basket and not get a drop anywhere. WebThe man says, imma just teac. School. Why does Spider-Man make sure to always flush the toilet? To go-to pee, So my new dog doesnt like to poop in the grass Are you the one who signed up for the pee club? An arm and a leg. Love sharing with your friends and family? 72. What do fish say when they hit a concrete wall? Broke my arm and ended up in hospital. There you go," said the nurse as she handed her a urine cup. 57. Q. Two men walk into a bar. ), 50 Funny Bitcoin Jokes That Will Increase Your Investments. You're in for a workout. Use these one liners at your own risk. 1.Why do people fall asleep in the bathroom? Because its also called a restroom! Q. How are urinals made functional? Ayatollah you already. Well, you either stink or swim! What is the name of the surgery where a man gets a penis enlargement? Because he always goes with the flow. What do you call a sorcerer who only deals in urine magic? What did Frosty the Snowman say to the dog who peed on him? I took a selfie after my kidney removal surgery. the nurse who was chewed out by the doctor because she was absent without gauze? What does Woody say when he has bad gas? We hope you will find these urinary pee. 67. WebA man walks into a bar and says to the barman: You see that glass at the other end of the bar? 1. If you have trouble peeing, Urine trouble, I cant use the urinals when there's a person next to me, I get pee-er pressure. The librarian says, It rings a bell, but I dont know whether its there or not. Just a phew! 6. 6. My uncle proceeded to laugh uncontrollably at his own joke while my four year old cousin stood there looking really confused and my aunt walked away with her arms crossed, angrily trying to hold back her laughter. Yo mama so fat when she sat on the toilet it sang abcdefg get your fat butt off of me. With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! If a dog goes to poop, 51. Daughter: How much longer, I have to pee. A. I pee, eh. 2. I apologize in advance as this isn't exactly a joke, but whenever my son (23) asks me this question, I always answer with a wildly incorrect age. How does a urologist diagnose hypospadias on an EKG? I make guys have to pee and girls comb their hair. Incidentally, he did have to pass a pee test to get his job. 21. Whats a dogs favorite homework assignment? The Singer Once Opened Up about Wanting to Start a Family, Rich Orosco: 4 Facts about the Entertainment Industry Veteran, Elderly Couple Is Led by a Cat to a Black Bag, Sees a Tiny Hand Hanging from Inside Story of the Day, Veteran Loads His Old Truck with Food Every Night, Never Misses a Day for over 20 Years, After Old Mans Death, Son Returns to His House and Hears Sounds from Abandoned Garage Story of the Day, A man goes into a library and asks for a book about Pavlovs dogs and Schrodingers cat. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? Paddy and Seamus work at the Guinness factory and Seamus has a horrible accident and dies at work. Why didnt the Tenth Doctor like potty training as a kid? What happened after a truckload of Viagra was stolen? What do you get when you cross a polar bear with a seal? Q. Q. If you have to force it, its probably crap. A rich man is 0ne who isnt afraid to ask the clerk to show him something cheaper. Q. Why cant you trust an atom? Funny one-liners. Why didnt the toilet paper make it across the road? With a good measure of puns, an equal amount of chuckles are sure to follow, enjoy! The Batroom, Say Ihop ness: i made you eat your pees:. Why didn't the urology student finish his studies? One of the sacks has a hole and is leaking 20 dollar bills. Required fields are marked *. What are kings farts called? Q. They both deal with a lot of crap. 101 Jokes And One Liners For Kids! What do a man with diarrhea and an electric car owner have in common? Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. 3. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? Where's the p, I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. If you pee on them they disappear. Did you hear they arrested the devil? 85. How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? . The bathroom is over there on your left. little Johny replied, "Your drinking out of the bottle tonight". is it a bow-wowel movement? Buffet is a French word that means get up and get it yourself.. To get to the bottom! So Im sure youll like them. Q. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Q. Doing their doodie. Why arent dogs good dancers? Have you seen the movie Diarrhea? Why can't you hear a Pterodactyl using the bathroom? Q. I had to put my foot down. School who? He set a new lap record. The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. What should you wear to a truly scary haunted house? On the 4th day, a mermaid came up out of the water and offered them one wish to save their lives. 41. Give a man a fish, and he will eat for a day. 80. He couldnt budget. We collect and tell stories of people from all around the world. Comment * document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a44c17e5426fca8114c44941b9ba386d" );document.getElementById("h2249d7876").setAttribute( "id", "comment" ); Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. You look flushed! My mother was so surprised when I told her I was born again. Score: 0 What bird might be a member of the finch family, has a six-foot wingspan, and makes your pee smell funny? "Sir, I'm afraid your son can't attend our swimming lessons anymore.". I get so annoyed when I step in dog poop. Why dont cats play poker in the jungle? What do you get when you accidentally take a poop in your overalls? Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Ctrl+P Do these genes make me look fat? 3. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever. Whats something great about poop jokes? Winter: the season when we try to keep the house as hot as it was in the summer, when we complained about the heat. He had skeletons in his closet. What do you call a pirate that skips class? To get to the other side. 2. more like dad revelations. Dr. Dre. What is the sound of no-hands texting? Because that's where all the cocks hang out. I was going to tell you a poop joke but its really crappy. Its difficult for some people to relate to what kids are into these days. Please sign up with your best email address. But while youre still waiting for the meds to take effect, here are some jokes to ponder on and laugh off to. The doctor will see you in a few minutes.. Eclipse it. Youre looking flushed. Little Johnny was walking down an alley and saw a lamp. WebTop 20 Jokes about Pee Two frat boys were stranded at sea in a life boat. The morning after, Dave wanted some hair of the dog that bit him. A. WebPee Pee Jokes, Pissy Humor, Wee Wee Puns Urine Luck! Flush Gordon. A. 14. 4. Today the cat is out of the bag with one-liner jokes about our feline companions and their relatives. Probably 40 of the little suckers. In honor of Readers Digests 100th anniversary, weve collected 100 jokes, puns, and funny one-liners that are short, sharp, and easy to deliver. A. Pee-Rex. The doctor told me she would have to take a urine sample. Q. Why were there balloons in the bathroom? Stinker Bell! . What does superman call his toilet? 3. the New York Jets cocktail? Q. Q. These urinals would be terrible to sit on!" 79. Stinkerbell. We've been through a lot of shit together. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. I actually like poop jokes. I would hate to see a diarrhea outbreak. Coming and Going. The reason some politicians like to stand on their record is to keep voters from examining it. Im stuck on the toilet! What is the difference between a cat and a comma? What is the meaning of impotent? Q. Your email address will not be published. What do you call a parade of rabbits hopping backward? A. Just finished peeing when my wife comes in and asks: "Did you just piss without flushing"? The old man takes out his false teeth and bites his other eye. 62. If an anonymous comment goes unread, is it still irritating? The barman agrees to the bet, so the man begins to urinate all over the bar, its patrons and even the barman himself basically everywhere except in the glass. 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Elementary. What did the Urologist say to his honey on February 14? Love is like a fart. Why do ducks have feathers? A private tutor is a person who never farts in public. ", The old lady says, "I get my hedge clippers and I wait behind the fence. the claustrophobic astronaut? What is something you never appreciate until its gone? Yeah, they got him on possession. The next night I woke up I went into my parents room and woke my mom up and said, "you have to come with me and see this it's really important," Half asleep she murmured, "oh what is it can't it wait until the morning?' 10. What's a doctor hope to gain from a urine test? Poop Jokes are not my favorite but they are a solid #2 If you're here for pee jokes, urine luck. A. Laugh more here: Funny and Flirty Woman Jokes. Im feeling really wiped. 4. 18. Because if you fail it, urine trouble. He didnt finish the last movement, Dad: Hey have you seen that new movie constipation? How much did the pirate pay for his peg leg and hook? What is the opposite of urine? Why can you never hear a pterodactyl using the toilet? Makani Ravello Harrelson Has Acted in Movies - Facts about Woody Harrelson's Daughter, Does Bailey Zimmerman Have a Wife? the racing snail that got rid of his shell? WebA blonde woman came in for a routine physical at the doctors office. Suddenly a snake jumps out of some bushes and bites the mans penis. At which school did Sherlock Holmes get so smart? Because she just couldn't take it any longer. "Honey, I've got bad news. How does the man in the moon get his hair cut? You blow me away. Read More 45 Hilarious Pee Pee Puns Punstoppable. What do you call a magical poop? You look flushed! A. I saw a sign today that made me piss myself..It said. Poop. If you take $2 out of an ATM that has a $2.50 fee, do you owe the machine money? So the man though maybe I need to get a lawyer. 11 r/dadjokes 6 comments u/Beergelden I make celebrities look stupid and normal people look like celebrities.. 132 FUNNY Cold Jokes To Make Your Day a Little Happier. 1. Why did the toilet roll down the hill? We hope you enjoyed all these funny jokes because we sure did! This morning the GF has been up going back and forth to the bathroom. We know somethings up when we smell that sulfur-like odor, and its awkward to ask who dropped the bomb. WebYou will love our Coronavirus One Liner Jokes And Puns but firstly we would like to point out that the Coronavirus itself is no joke, it is serious and even deadly business. 1. It runs in your genes. 3. I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Nowadays, poop has already been normalized. Maybe she wont hear me if I turn on the water. What do a clowns farts smell like? "Hi my name is Charmin and you must be the shit 'cause I want you all over me." So mind your pees in queues. The man wen back to the other man and said, There is no hope, you will die., I hate it when people are at my house and ask do you have a bathroom? What answer Are they expecting no, we pee in the yard. Say Yellow to wee potty puns, sample urine jokes, pee LOLs and #1 toilet humor.

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